Only Heaven I'll Be Sent To
by TheTruthIsOutWhere
Summary: Sam and Dean have earned their final reward. What exactly does that look like? Especially when Castiel has been dead for months and is presumably trapped in the empty for all eternity...


They'd gone out in a blaze of glory. Guess that was always kind of the plan. Well maybe not the plan exactly, but Dean had never expected anything different. Not with the life they'd led. In fact, making it to 40 probably should have earned him a medal. Seemed well past the typical hunter lifespan, even more so given the insane crap thrown their way. Too bad Sammy couldn't have kept kicking he supposed… But in all honesty he'd always known they would go out together, they were both too stubborn to be the last one standing.

It was the perfect time really. Jack had everything under control now. Heaven was in order again, Lucifer was dead, BOTH Michaels were dead (so help him if more showed up from some other god forsaken hell world…), and hell was closed for business. It was the last one that had done them in. Turns out when you mess up the first time around, the universe wants twice the sacrifice to make sure the job really gets done on the second attempt. At least that was how Dean was looking at it. The truth was, he got caught in the crossfire. Since Sammy started the trials Billie was willing to give him another shot, to really get it right this time. He was a little hazy on the details, guess dying will do that to you, but the long and short of it was: they were dead. Like, permanently, definitively, dead. Guess a page of Billie's morbid notebooks had the words "consumed by hellfire" scrawled across it as a final end to Dean Winchester. Whatever, there hadn't really been much point in him hanging around earth anymore anyways. Although, like he said, sucks Sammy had to go out this way too.

Dean's reasons for hanging around had sort of dissipated right around 2 months before his check out time, on the day Cas took a second angel blade to the heart, or, if we're being specific, an archangel blade to the heart. Dean had never had time for the nightmares replaying the first stabbing to even dissipate. Watching that blade pierce Cas' chest a second time had been the final straw. He knew it, Sam knew it, and even Jack and Mary knew it. Well, that's to say Mary did know it, in the approximately 10 seconds it took Michael to remove the blade from Cas' chest and relocate it to Mary's. He supposes he never really had the time to process that, he was numb by then. So when Naomi came out of nowhere with a way to close hell, and save heaven as a result, he saw it as his way out. Of course, Sam thought by "way out" Dean meant retirement… But he hadn't bothered to correct him. He was done, exhausted really. Like he'd told Sam, he had never really cared what happened to him. Dying seemed just as good a way to end his hunting career as any. If only he could see Cas again though, then he'd really be at peace with "moving on" or whatever the kids were calling it these days. Obviously there was no chance of that. Angels go to the empty, they unfortunately knew that for a fact now, and though Jack had tried to reach Cas and wake him up again, he'd come up empty. No pun intended.

So as Dean came to in the Impala, Sam rapidly sitting upright beside him, he knew exactly where he was. Should have known anyways probably, downstairs was closed for business of course and he wasn't an angel or demon (at the moment), or a ghoul, vampire, werewolf, shifter, or leviathan (again, at the moment). So, yeah, he guesses he should have known. All demons were stuck in hell, angels go to the empty, monsters go to purgatory, and apparently Sam and Dean Winchester go to heaven. Huh, who would have guessed it? To be honest though, Dean's not psyched about this outcome. Sure, it's better than the alternatives he supposes. But being hermetically sealed in solitary, even if solitary had a cushy memory foam mattress and all the busty Asian beauties he could handle, sounded like crap to him. In fact, why was Sam even here? Was this like some pity move from the angels? One last romp down memory lane with his sasquatch brother? Because this wasn't how it went down last time they made a cameo up here, and Dean was suspicious. Funny, guess even in literal heaven Dean can't let himself relax. Figures.

"Dean?" Sam finally asks after clearing his throat. "Where… where are we?"

"Well little brother, seems like those idiot angels finally figured their shit out." Dean replied.

"Heaven? We're in heaven? But why are we together? This isn't what happened last time. Remember with Zacchariah? We were on our own."

Dean chuckled to himself. Apparently inability to relax was a hazard of the hunter lifestyle, and not a trait unique to him. He supposes that's something. "Yeah I don't know Sammy. Does seem different doesn't it?"

While Dean's internal monologue had been happening apparently Sam had decided to assess their surroundings. When he didn't answer Dean's questions, Dean followed his line of sight and felt the bottom drop out of his stomach.

"Is that?" Dean managed to choke out.

"The roadhouse." Sam said on an exhale as his lips curled into a smile.

"Well I don't know about you Sammy, but dying really took it out of me. I could use a cold one." Dean was smiling as he spoke, and Sam for some reason couldn't help but smile back. They both moved for their doors and Dean let the squeak of the well worn hinges soothe his nerves (or excitement?), and followed Sam into what had once been one of the most important places on earth to him. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, maybe Ash and Pamela to greet them? They had been the last occupants of heaven's own roadhouse last he checked. Instead, he was engulfed by red hair and two tiny arms. His shock wore off quickly when he realized the only person it could be: Charlie, HIS Charlie, was hugging him. He felt tears fill his eyes as he gently pried her away and softly pushed the flaming hair back from the side of her face. She positively beamed back at him.

"Charlie?" Dean managed to say finally. He knew there was probably more to say but he realized he might have to clear his throat about twenty times first.

"Hey Dean-o. Good to see ya." Dean was happy to see she seemed a bit choked up as well, at least he wasn't alone. After a minute or two of just staring Dean realized some things weren't adding up here, and also that Charlie had been talking for a solid 30 seconds.

"Oh and by the way, took you guys long enough! I mean sucks you're dead and everything. Condolences I guess? Maybe I should be better at this greeting newly dead people thing but I've never really gotten the hang of it. Nice job with the hell thing though! We were all rooting for you up here. Ash said there was about a 70:30 chance you guys would be up here for good this time after that stunt, suppose he was right. Damn, I guess that means I have to track down Euclid's heaven for him. Crap that's going to take FOREVER. Those old timey heavens are buried so deep! And everything is coded in Enochian… shoot I never should have agreed to that bet in the first place."

Before Charlie could launch into anything else, Dean suddenly snapped back to himself.

"Wait! Ash? You know Ash? Is he here? You never even went to the roadhouse when you were alive! Charlie, what are you doing here?"

Charlie let a slow smirk spread across her face. "Oh, right. Let's just say you're a little behind the times when it comes to heaven's newsletter. The uh, residents, up here had a chance to air a few grievances recently. There's been some changes since you're last visit."

With her last word Charlie glanced over her shoulder to the well used, and well loved, bar Dean had missed so much. Standing behind that bar was someone he'd missed even more. Ellen Harvelle. She stood there with a smile on her face and a bar rag slung over her shoulder. She gave him a smug look and quick nod of her head, along with her signature warm yet sterile greeting, "Dean".

Dean knew he was fully crying now, but couldn't seem to find it in himself to care. Particularly when he saw who was seated in front of the bar but looking his way, Ellen's daughter Jo. She too had a smile firmly in place but seemed to sense Dean needed some space to process. As he did every time he was overwhelmed, Dean looked to his brother. When Charlie had attacked him he'd seen his brother get similar treatment out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn't tell who it was that had grabbed him. The reason no sounds had penetrated his talk with Charlie soon became clear, Sam was rapidly conducting a signed conversation with a giggling and ecstatic Eileen. Neither even looked over at his discovery. As his head swam, Dean finally canvassed the entire room. He nearly passed out when his eyes met Bobby's as he stepped up behind Ellen, then Kevin's-seated at a booth with Ash and Pamela. At the next table sat a strikingly pretty blond girl with a coy smile on her face. Despite her confident air, Dean could tell she was slightly uncomfortable as she watched Eileen and Sam catch up. Dean couldn't place her immediately until Charlie moved to sit across from her at the booth and placed her hand atop hers on the table. The comforting gesture as his brother enthusiastically flirted in sign language jogged Dean's memory. Jessica. The pretty girl was Sam's Jess, just waiting to be noticed. Dean's heart sank a bit but he wasn't ready to process that emotion.

His eyes roamed again to the bar as someone emerged from the back, and another casually took a seat next to Jo. The bottle of Johnny Walker emerging from the door flap gave away the new entrant even before Dean could see his face. Rufus gave him a sarcastic salute as he uncapped the bottle. His half brother Adam had taken the seat next to Jo with a conspiratorial glance at Dean. Again, so not ready to process what that meant. Finally his eyes hit the pool table in the back. For about the 20th time his breath entirely left him. His mom sat with a hip propped against the edge of the table, a beer in hand. Next to her stood his father with a cue pool. Both looked the happiest he could ever remember seeing them. That broke him. He didn't burst into tears exactly, because he was a full grown man, damn it. However, all of a sudden, he found himself across the room being embraced by BOTH of his parents for the first time since he was 4 years old. His trek across the room must have been loud and obvious, because all of a sudden his brother was there too.

Things were a blur after that, seemed that everyone needed a hug and Dean was sure he had never cried this much the entire time he was alive. Which, considering the amount of tragedy he had experienced, was saying something. Sam had finally noticed Jess, and was now sandwiched as close to her in the booth as he could get. Dean had finally made it around to Eileen, and after a fierce hug, was focused entirely on speaking clearly about how much his stupid brother and he had missed her so she could read his lips. That was why he didn't notice right away when his brother moved to greet someone else who had just entered from behind the bar. In fact, he was so focused on communicating with Eileen that she had to grab his arm and gesture with her head to indicate he should also greet the newcomer. When she saw the look on his face he was sure she tightened her grip to keep him from collapsing to the floor.

"Cas." Dean nearly whispered. Because it was him, it was HIS Cas standing there glowing as he talked with his brother animatedly. Dean didn't know what to do. This wasn't real, Cas couldn't be here! Not really. Even if the rules in heaven had changed, as Charlie hinted, angels don't have souls! Dean continued to stare, wide-eyed and probably with his mouth hanging open, until Cas looked up. His blazing blue eyes connected with Dean's and a huge, gummy smile spread across his face, and Dean knew. It WAS Cas, it was his Cas here with them. While his walk to his parents had happened instantaneously, this walk seemed to take forever. Dean was completely lost in Cas' blue eyes until he was standing directly in front of him. His brother must have made room because he was off to the side as Cas finally pulled him into a rough hug and whispered "Hello Dean" into his ear.

There was a lot of conversation after that, mainly due to questions asked by his brother. Dean couldn't form a single thought and refused to leave Cas' side. That seemed to suit Cas just fine. The conversation finally caught Dean's attention when it turned to the changes Charlie had mentioned in heaven. Their very own Castiel had apparently had a major role in that, and those "residents" Charlie spoke of were essentially just everyone currently in this room. Dean had no complaints. Eternity with his loved ones was infinitely better than the crapshoot those winged dicks were running before. Oh, and Castiel's appearance in heaven finally made sense too. He had a soul. He wasn't entirely clear on when that had happened. Either Chuck finally gave them a fucking break, or it just came with the territory of being human- no matter for how short a time. All Dean cared about was that he was here, and he was here for good. He was here, with him or, you now, with them. Ok, who was he kidding at this point… he was dead for Christ's sake! Him, his angel was finally fucking here, with HIM. At his honesty with himself a huge relieved smile spread across his face, he probably looked insane but couldn't find it in himself to care. This feeling of warmth and released tension was spreading outward from his chest. How messed up was it that for the first time he was happy and relaxed, in death. Ellen handed him a cold pint of beer and the feeling spread even further.

After several hours of chatting, and smiling so hard his face hurt, people started to trickle off. To their own personal heavens he supposed. He, Cas, and Sam had squeezed into a booth with Jess and Charlie. Dean was approximately 5 beers in and feeling pleasantly buzzed, maybe heaven kept you from getting sloppy drunk. Jess and Sam were pushed together tightly on one side and were trading goofy grins every 20 seconds. So, when Jess indicated her intention to leave, Dean was not at all surprised when Sam gave him a wide-eyed pleading glance. With a quick jerk of his head, and a roll of his eyes, Dean gave him permission to get the hell out of there. Sam smiled shyly and exited the roadhouse quickly behind Jess. Once Sam was gone Charlie executed an exaggerated stretch and yawn. Dean rolled his eyes again when Charlie gave him a knowing, and extremely obvious, glare. That girl was really too intuitive for her own good.

Dean glanced to his left at Cas and asked, "So you got your own little slice of heaven up here Cas? Honeybees and burgers or something?"

Cas averted his eyes when he replied, "Something like that, yes. You're welcome to see it before you retire to your own heaven." Finally, at the end of his sentence, Cas glanced up at Dean.

Dean smirked as he replied, "Yeah, Cas. Let's do it."

Apparently the transportation system in heaven was pretty easy now, walk through a door and get where you wanted to go. Dean was skeptical as they walked into the back room and emerged into a much wider space. Dean was temporarily taken aback as he realized they weren't in fact outside as he'd anticipated, but inside a large open space furnished in dark wood. It took him a minute to recognize it, as every corner of the room was flushed in beautiful natural light. Once he realized where they were he felt that, more and more familiar, sensation of being punched in the gut. He was standing in the bunker library. Only he supposed it wasn't exactly a bunker anymore with the addition of floor to ceiling windows across an entire wall, many flung open allowing a fresh spring breeze to flow inside. He took a moment to catch his breath and then turned to face Cas, who was clearly waiting for his reaction.

Dean cleared his throat. "uhhh, Cas. Your heaven… your heaven is the bunker?"

Cas shrugged and replied, "I suppose you might see it that way, yes."

Dean tried to wrap his head around that response and looked at Cas with confusion. "How the hell else am I suppose to see it?"

"Given the new rules I helped impose, each persons' heaven can no longer have projected images of their loved ones. I couldn't have you, and uhh Sam, here with me. The bunker was our home, where I was happiest. I suppose it's the next best thing." Cas shrugged. Dean supposed his mouth probably should close at some point in the near future but he was trying too hard not to cry to address it.

"You know, Cas. I really thought this was it, that you were in the empty and I'd never see you again. Instead you're up here just living in our home and waiting for me to bite it? I'm not sure if I'm the happiest I've ever been or just totally hallucinating. But mostly I'm just really, really sorry."

Cas looked briefly confused, "Dean you have no reason to be sorry… you've saved the world, again. You did everything you were meant to do in life, and in the process you helped redeem an angel. You gave me an eternal life, where I'm not forced to sleep forever in nothingness."

"Jesus, Cas. That's not what I'm sorry for. I will never, ever be sorry that you're here with me. But I am sorry." Dean walked closer to where Cas stood in front of a bookshelf, bathed in perfect afternoon light. "I am so, so sorry Cas. I'm sorry that I never told you I loved you when we were both alive. That I never told you I've been in love with you for years, forget that brother bullshit. I'm sorry for everyday that I didn't press you against this bookshelf and kiss you until you couldn't remember your own name. I'm sorry that we both had to be dead for me to stow my crap and admit the truth."

Cas looked both entirely stunned and ecstatic. Dean took that as a positive sign, and surged forward to capture Cas' plush lips with his own. He'd probably spent days and days, weeks maybe, imaging this moment. However, he was still woefully unprepared for the reality. A surge of lust and arousal hit him hard as he pressed Cas to the bookshelf, and a moan was ripped from his throat when Cas instantly kissed him back. They were both desperate for more as Cas' tongue stroked Dean's lip, and he opened his mouth without question. His hands were deep in Cas' dark, thick hair and Cas' had somehow migrated up underneath his flannel and t-shirt. Nothing had ever felt more perfect. Apparently in heaven you didn't need to break for air, but Dean broke away anyways. He'd been dreaming of tasting his angels' jaw and sensitive pulse point for too long. As his teeth scraped Cas' neck, Cas seemed to expel all his breath on a moan.

"Dean, Dean. I love you too. I've always loved you, from the first moment I saw your soul in hell." Cas hadn't opened his eyes once as he panted out this confession between heavy breaths, his head rolled backwards and rested next to an Enochian dictionary (talk about ironic). Dean supposes he should have felt that sucker punch sensation again, but in all honesty- he'd always known hadn't he? What other reason would Cas have for doing the things he'd done for them, but really always for him. What an asshole he's been for not telling him he's loved him back for so long.

Rather than respond to Cas's words directly, he moves the situation along. "Take of your clothes, Cas." He grins salaciously and Cas licks his lips before he nods. He pulls his trenchcoat and suit off so quickly that Dean only has his shirt off and pants unbuttoned when Cas is naked, but that's ok for what he has in mind. He drops to his knees, eye-level with the most perfect, hard, cock he's ever seen. Figures the guy would be perfect here as well. Dean strokes up Cas' chest and he teasingly licks the pre-come off the head. Castiel seems unable to control his response and moans, eyes rolled back in his head as he leans fully back against the bookshelf again. Pleased with the response, Dean takes all of him he can into his mouth. He reaches up and teases Cas's nipples as he bobs up and down on his cock, growing harder and harder with each moan escaping his perfect angel. He supposes he should be self conscious, having never done this before, but apparently being dead solves more than one problem.

Finally, Cas appears to be at a breaking point and bodily hoists Dean to his feet with both hands under his armpits. Before he can think, Dean is completely engulfed in another filthy, open-mouthed kiss. Apparently Cas has had a few fantasies of his own, because quickly his hand is rapidly moving around both their lengths. Dean is shocked at how close he is already. In fact, it's maybe only 30 seconds before both men are moaning and breathing heavily as they orgasm. Could joint orgasms be another heavenly perk? Dean didn't really have the brainpower to tackle that one right now.

"Dean?" Cas asked after a moment, voice the roughest and deepest Dean had ever heard it.

Dean nodded his head, forehead placed against Cas'. "mmhmm" he said.

"Why didn't we do that when we were alive?"

"Because I'm an idiot Cas. Don't worry though, we are absolutely making up for lost time. In fact, I'm curious as to what exactly my heaven has in store. I'm assuming memory foam… what do you say we break it in?"


End file.
